Thursday, May 30, 2013

The truncated art of text romance




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Sunday, April 28, 2013

The arbiter of taste

FRIEND: Hey Jim! Have you seen this awesome [comedy/game/film]? It's really good, you should consider checking it out. JIM: Yeeeeahhh... if it was THAT good, though, don't you think I'd have known about it already, and be telling YOU about it?
"Hey Jim, based on in-depth knowledge of your favourite kinds of things, this is exactly the sort of thing you would like!"

How about this: as punishment for your presumption, I pre-emptively hate the thing you are recommending, forever.

I am a great friend to have.
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Sunday, March 31, 2013

Commerce never changes

On the questionable life decisions of NPCs. GIRL: Hi, are you open? Listen, I know the sign says it's a bar, but I was wondering whether you sell health packs? BARMAN: Sure, miss. Listen, maybe we can do each other a favour. I got a brother in Little Oak Ridge, and I need to get this letter and money to him. I wouldn't stand a chance against the raiders and mutants. If you take this to him for me, you can have a health kit on the house. GIRL: Is... is this a scam? I don't understand why you would trust me with that. You've LITERALLY just met me. What makes you think I wouldn't just keep the money? Or that I'm even capable of getting to Oak Ridge alive? BARMAN: Call it a barman's instinct! You look like you know how to handle yourself out there. GIRL: Really. That's honestly the conclusion you've drawn? That I appear capable of negotiating a post-apocalyptic wasteland. Really.
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Thursday, February 28, 2013

Flog the dead donkey

(London, Monday) JIM: ...and then I'll have the beefburger... WAITRESS: We don't have any today. Do you want chicken burger? (Brighton, Wednesday) JIM: ...and for the main could I have the beefburger, please? WAITRESS: I'm afraid we're currently out of burgers. We also don't have any lasagne. Would you care to select another main course? JIM'S BRAIN: Hm! Two branches in a row. Quite an inconvenient coincidence. (Later) Okay seriously, how has that taken me until *now* to figure out?
The great thing about topical humour is the way it is rendered all but meaningless by the passage of only a few months' time.

Wait, that's not great at all. I have got my adjectives in a muddle yet again.
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Thursday, January 10, 2013

Postal modernism

This must be that 'survivor's guilt' I've heard about...
I got a fancified drawing tablet! The above cartoon is entirely digitally created, much like the film "Polar Express". See how much clearer and more legible it is than the scanned stuff... uh...

Look, I'll practice, okay?
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