Tuesday, October 21, 2008

It was a rhetorical answer

WOMAN: Why do left-handed people always write all hunched round like that? ME: Because otherwise your hand smudges everything as you move across the page. (beat) WOMAN: Wow! Someone finally explained it!!It may not be funny, but it's true. I am as an ambassador for my kind.

Wednesday, October 01, 2008

See, I can do senseless violence

ELITA: Well? FELIX: It is done. The security system is disabled from within. They won't know what hit them. ELITA: Fantastic. And with that, you outlive your usefulness. FELIX: E-Elita? ELITA: Come now, what did you expect? That I'd allow a confessed traitor into our midst? You know of my plans, therefore you cannot live. Simple. FELIX: I... you can't! This... this is insane! Please, Elita! Please! ELITA: Wait, wait a minute. Check this out. This is going to be funny. Go on, Felix. Plead for your life again. Go ahead. FELIX: This... this isn't some *BLAM BLAM* ELITA: Hold that thought.Ever thus to the genre-blind.

You may notice the complete lack of backgrounds. This is so that you can project your own context upon this tale! Oh, the fun. Why are they speaking with such awkward syntax? Which one is the baddie? What are they even talking about? Is that a special future gun, or did the cartoonist simply get carried away? You decide.

Or maybe I'm just too idle to spend an extra twenty minutes drawing scenery. Sigh. Doing backgrounds is hard. Why should I be the only one slaving away at it? If only I had access to Photoshop and Google image search, then I could have a world famous web comic, with its own range of T-shirts and tote bags. And respect! All the respect I can eat! You'll pay! You'll all pay!!