Monday, December 12, 2016

Insensitive comedian (remastered)

COMEDIAN: doesn't MEAN anything! Like, if she played a PROSTITUTE would that mean you got to FUCK her? No, exactly! So anyway, what is the deal with these assholes who flew those planes into the World Trade Center? AUDIENCE: BOOOOOO!! COMEDIAN: I mean, what did Oscar Wilde say... once could be a mistake, but two is just fuckin' careless, right? I mean are they really terrorists, or were they just really late for work, you know? AUDIENCE: BOO! SHUT UP! TOO SOON! COMEDIAN: 'Look, my boss is gonna kill me! There's the office, just drop me the fuck off!' AUDIENCE: GET OFF THE STAGE, ASSHOLE! BOOOO! FUCK YOU! SHUT UP! COMEDIAN: I swear, there's got to have been some office worker guy who was thinking 'Christ, I just want this day to be over'... then he looks out the WINDOW, you know, 'CHRIST! I take it back, what the FUCK!?' AUDIENCE: BOO! HAVE SOME RESPECT! WAY TOO SOON, SHITHEAD! BOOO! COMEDIAN: Yeah, this is a comedy club. I really recommend staying home if you don't have a sense of humor. AUDIENCE: OFF ! OFF! OFF! FUCK YOU! COMEDIAN: What, was your mom up there or something? Is that what pulled the planes in? AUDIENCE: MOTHERFUCKER! GET OUT! SCREW YOU! BOOOO
Going through my archives, I discovered I'd started tidying this up in 2013 but stopped after two frames, so I just went ahead and finished it. Three-years-ago self, you are a profoundly lazy man.

Saturday, September 17, 2016

Graphic design primer

Here are some logo mascot type things I have designed over the years, by doodling them onto small scraps of paper or ticket stubs.

I think this could be the mascot for a chain of fast food restaurants. It would appear atop a giant luminous pole, and have a name like (for example) Unpredictable Larry.

The logo of my local city council bears an ill-advised resemblance to a common garden pest, so in 2012 I devised this much improved version. It is specifically designed to foster a sense of enthusiasm and community. Sadly I have yet to hear anything back.

I already posted this anti-authoritarian shouting bullet thing, but look! Now it is in a slightly higher resolution. Thus passes another step in my campaign to coast on recycling stuff I drew over a decade ago as a diversionary tactic to avoid producing anything actually new or creative.

Thursday, August 25, 2016

Thursday, August 04, 2016

Wednesday, May 25, 2016

Monday, May 09, 2016