Tuesday, February 27, 2007

Absolutely Jim's Mood

Jim kicks the CheatDid you ever have one of those days? Yeah. Yeah, me too.

Monday, February 26, 2007

Oranges are nice, though

Shark wielding a joke shark finGoing all the way back here, as evidenced by the poor scan quality. I have loads more of these ones from sixth-form, but I feel I should hold some in reserve for all the other times when I don't have anything new to upload.

Oh, go on then, you can have another. This one would never sustain an update all by itself, anyway:
BEETLE EAT WORLDI mean... what?

Saturday, February 24, 2007

Superhero auditions: day four

"Mid-life Crisis Man? You... that's your... I mean, this is just a mid-life crisis thing? I mean I get it, you've got the costume and everything, but I'm sorry. It's just not a good enough reason to become a superhero. And I'm sorry, but owning a sports car really doesn't count as a super power. You're really in no shape for this kind of thing. I appreciate you've made the effort, but it's just not what we're looking for."

"So... Terminal. And your superpower is... that you have a terminal illness. Right. And it says here that part of the mystery of your identity is that nobody knows exactly what illness you have? I see... so, if I understand this correctly, you're relying on the idea that even villains might draw the line at beating up a guy who's dying of cancer or whatever? With the added risk that you might be carrying something that can be transmitted through blood. Yes, that's all clear enough. I just wanted to clear something up... are you, by any chance, able to leap over a building in a single bound? Or anything like that. I just wondered."

"The Urban Spaceman. Look, the one thing you've got going for you is that it's a pretty good name. But look... I mean, did you really think you were going to get away with this? Your super power is your ability to navigate around the city? We're supposed to be impressed that you know all the alleyways and shortcuts by heart? WE ALL DO THAT. It's one of the absolute minimum requirements for getting into this business. For Christ's sake, that's like listing Interactive Menus as a DVD extra. It's just pathetic. Please get out of here before I lose my temper."

Sunday, February 18, 2007

The thing is, everything really was fine at home

It is better to regret something you have done/ Than something you haven't doneFrom and inspired by another of my stories which you haven't read. (Because it isn't finished and may never be? Anyway, I've just spoiled the ending. Damn!)

Friday, February 16, 2007

It gave me the Ghiblis

I'm going to show you how to kill a god...What have I done?

Oh god, what have I done?

Tuesday, February 13, 2007

Not back on it, Joe. Still on it.

*knock* BOSS: Enter. Ah, Jones. Do come in. JONES: Yes, sir. You wanted to discuss the contracts? BOSS: Ah, the contracts, yes. That was it. The contracts. Now, Jones, I'm afraid you and I are going to have to have a bit of a fight. JONES: ...a fight? What do you AAAAHHKK!! BOSS: Fight back, you pansy!It's time to celebrate! As if anyone cared, this is the 50th post. (NB: This isn't another "nobody reads this blog" joke. It's more a point about the number of posts made to a blog being a pointless basis for anniversaries of any description.) This cartoon, fittingly, embodies most if not all of the principles of this showcase: the picture is scanned at a fairly poor quality, the text is so hastily scrawled as to make it largely illegible, the whole thing was drawn almost two years ago and the joke is lifted wholesale from a Blue Jam sketch.

But! If you really can't read it, or any other cartoon on this site, all you need do is look at the ALT text for that particular image. For in my everlasting benevolence, I have installed subtitles throughout, as a celebration of this august occasion (or because I had nothing better to do last Saturday. Try and guess which one.) Because what better audience for my drawings could there be but the blind and partially-sighted?

Sunday, February 11, 2007

No time to be playing Happy Families

Creepy shuffling bandage face girlOh, not the shambling undead again. Get it away from me, etc! At least please god don't ever let me find out what it looks like under those bandages. This is what happens when I play too much Siren. Shibito amble gleefully through my subconscious. Like this fella!
ShibitoAww, look at him. Join us, he's saying. JOIN US! Only, you know, in Japanese.

Thursday, February 08, 2007

MSX is a hard act to follow

OI! We don't need someone to stop a nuke getting launched. We're paying you to be a scarecrow!Look, I want to apologise for this one. I was about halfway through drawing it when I realised that it didn't work on any conceivable level. I'm putting it up anyway so that anyone who confounds the odds by actually getting it can feel indescribably pleased with themself for the rest of the week.