Thursday, December 24, 2009

This of good quality fain comic

STILLMAN: I'm Stillman. We can help each other. But first, I have to tell you... I have a WOODEN LEG!! We have to defuse the bomb. But before we do, I have to tell you... I DON'T REALLY have a wooden leg!! SFX: *CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT!* BOMB: KA-SPLODEI am going to go back and add explosions to the end of all of my comics.

Saturday, December 05, 2009

Tuesday, December 01, 2009

I can't do the accent

WELDER: Okay but seriously - if you had to do it with a dude - and it couldn't be Christopher Walken. RIVETER: I guess Kuja - I mean - if you squinted a bit you probably couldn't tell. WELDER: Maybe if you concentrated hard enough you could ignore the prehensile tail. RIVETER: SPOILERS!I'll help you out: it's a sequel to an earlier comic.

That didn't help, did it

Saturday, October 17, 2009

A Stealthy Manoeuvre

AGENT: I have a visual on him. By Christ, sooner or later this guy is going to slip up, and when he does... He sees me! Mission compromised! Abort! ABORT! YAAH! Code Red! *EXPLODE*From now on I am only going to draw my dreams, because I no longer have time to think while I am awake.

For a slightly better comic, try obscuring the last three frames

Monday, September 07, 2009

Spychology: lesson 3

MEDIC: Is thig guy legit? Okay, so it is you. SOLDIER: It pays to be careful. Anyone could be the spy! And without this Ubercharge, we don't stand a chance. SPYCHOLOGY."That dude got ice water runnin' in his muthalovin' veins."
- Natt "the Hat" Walls, Hitman #32

Tuesday, September 01, 2009

Spychology: lesson 2

Spychology!Pity me, for when I drew this a couple of weeks ago, it made sense. But between then and now, they have changed the game mechanics so that it doesn't. So must all art pass eventually into obscurity, too far removed from the context of its time.

Wednesday, August 26, 2009

Tuesday, August 04, 2009

Meanwhile, in some Lovecraftian pocket dimension

Man, what's going on? What were those monsters? Maybe I can find a way out of here before things get even more messed up. Maybe in here... huh? 'You need to find the VIKING EMBLEMS to open the door.' You know what? Screw this. (suicides)Some people just have zero tolerance for survival horror game mechanics. On an unrelated note, I heard that if you have to explain a joke then that means it's not funny.

One of these frames was drawn several weeks after the others, can you guess

Sunday, August 02, 2009

I intend to pay you for your idea

The safe word is PSEUDOULTRAANTIDISESTABLISHMENTARIANISM.You know those times when I post something solely to motivate myself to draw more stuff, in order to get it the hell off the front page? This is one of those times.

Saturday, August 01, 2009


Spooky girlWhile I fritter my spare time working on another three page comic which delivers exactly one paper-thin joke, here's one of those spooky girls which seem so popular. You know, like a normal girl, only spooky. It's like, you've still got 87% health and you're near the mission objective, but you just know if you shoot the girl then you're going to get in all kinds of trouble. Sure she's being spooky and all, but you think that's going to cut any ice with the police? The parents? The media? No doubt about it, you are in something of a predicament.

Saturday, July 11, 2009

Thursday, July 02, 2009

Commercially unsuccessful superhero comics

Always remember, if the joke you're making seems obvious, don't Google it.

Tuesday, June 23, 2009

Phoenix Wright for the lonely (parte finale)

I would gladly stand accused of murder if it meant Mia would get me off THAT'S RIGHT I CAME OUT AND SAID IT.Let's just move swiftly on before the mindboggling ethical pitfalls begin to sink in.

Tuesday, June 16, 2009

Based on eyewitness accounts

The moment Collins pulled the trigger would go down in history as the instant when the police lost control of the situation entirely.I wasn't going to post this, because I didn't think it was particularly good; but then I realised I was being inconsistent to the point of hypocrisy.

Tuesday, June 09, 2009

Sunday, May 03, 2009

Only ten years too late

CHILD: do not try to bend the spoon. that's impossible. NEO: *SWIPE* *BENNNND* *FLUMP* CHILD: you're mean.I'm beginning to suspect that using "TEH MATRICKS" as a wireless network ID is never going to get old.

Sunday, April 19, 2009

The adventures of Stlunky

The adventures of STLUNKY. STLUNKY: oh why, god, have you forsaken me? MAN: O SPARE ME SOME CHANGE. STLUNKY: I can do that. MAN: YOU CAN GIVE ME THE CHANGE IN THIS SINISTER ALLEY. STLUNKY: ? MAN: HA! NOW WE RELIEVE YOU OF YOUR VALUABLES *BOOT* *KICK* STLUNKY: oof! MAN: HMM. STLUNKY: ou... ouch. MAN: THERE ARE BUT A FEW PENNIES. HE WAS GOING TO GIVE ME THE LAST OF HIS WEALTH. ... THANKS! STLUNKY: help me.I drew this a few years ago when I used to work in a call centre for two weeks. You are welcome to analyse it and draw conclusions as to my mental state at that time. I await your findings with interest.

Friday, April 10, 2009

The Boxer

Glass Joe"In the clearing stands a boxer, and a fighter by his trade
And he carries the reminders of every glove that laid him down
Or cut him 'til he cried out, in his anger and his shame
'I am leaving, I am leaving'
But the fighter still remains."

Wednesday, April 01, 2009

Newton's Revenge

WARING: Deliver that letter in the morning! ALOYSIUS' TEETH: *CRUNCH* BARNES: *SPLUNGE* MOSES: Oh damn. I forgot how physics works.Please note that there is no point in reading this if you haven't seen The Hudsucker Proxy. I apologise for having wasted your time.

Saturday, March 14, 2009

An engineering solution

SCOUT: Building an enemy sentry in our base? I've got to put a stop to this! Maybe if I go round the other way, I can take it down without straying into its field of view? ENGINEER: Annoying scout! Why don't you just give up? I can repair this sentry as fast as you can shoot it! And every time you have to run for ammo, I can get more supplies from my dispenser! You're accomplishing nothing except annoying me! Now go away! This floor belongs to RED, and there's nothing you can do about it! SCOUT: Are you absolutely sure about that? ENGINEER: What... what are you doing? Don't SCOUT: Thanks. While you wait to respawn, here's a little engineering puzzle for you. If you're so smart, then how come I'm still alive and your sentry's dead?This is a true story. That's what I like about Team Fortress; it lets you tell your own stories. Stories about you killing people.

(I almost couldn't be bothered to add the text, but what can I say? I'm dedicated.)

Monday, February 09, 2009

Congratulations, everybody!

LOTTA: Shucks, Mr Wright, you done saw right through me again! Well, I'm just a simple ol' gal from the heartland, etc... PHOENIX: Hold it!! So you keep saying. With the court's indulgence, can I press you to elaborate on that? It's confusing enough trying to work out whether we're supposed to be in America or Japan. Just tell the court, Ms Hart... where exactly ARE you from? LOTTA: Well, since you asked so nicely! I come from a little place you've probably never heard of! A little town called... INNSMOUTH...I'm sure by now you're getting sick of reading utterly incomprehensible gaming comics, so today I have decided to include step-by-step hints for understanding the joke. To use them, simply highlight the text one line at a time to reveal it! It should be lots of fun. Here goes!

1) The characters are Phoenix Wright and Lotta Hart from the Ace Attorney series of games.
2) In the game it is only stated that Lotta is from "the heartland".
3) Innsmouth is a fictional town created by racist horror author H.P. Lovecraft.
4) Lovecraft is best known for his Cthulhu Mythos, featuring various extradimensional cosmic horrors.
5) In his story "The Shadow Over Innsmouth", he tells of a sinister town cult, literally descended from a race of supernatural monstrosities.
6) The hybrid denizens of Innsmouth are described as resembling a cross between a human and a fish/frog creature.
7) (In Neil Gaiman's short story "Only The End Of The World Again" he describes them as looking "a little like Peter Lorre.")
8) These creatures are descended from the Deep Ones, a race of dormant gods which will one day rise from the seabed to destroy us all.
9) The unfortunate subtext to Lovecraft's tale is of course an idealisation of racial purity, with any deviation from this depicted as inherently evil.
10) Lotta Hart looks a bit like a fish.

Tuesday, February 03, 2009

Beyond the cupboard of ecological shame

Un aventuras con Mr Not-very-good-excuse. 'Can I take some of these plastic bags? I know you're meant to bring your own if possible. But this is the first time I've ever been shopping.'Why do I keep setting them in supermarkets? They're hell to draw. I hope the level of detail makes you pretend to like it.

Sunday, January 25, 2009


ZIDANE: What's all the ruckus next door? TENT SALESMAN: Beats me. Now, how many was it? (Meanwhile, chaos reigns at the poisonous snake zoo)I think my gaming jokes are still a little too specific.

Wednesday, January 21, 2009

Saturday, January 03, 2009

TF2 etiquette

HEAVY: Oh for GOD'S sake.Of course I drew this before they revamped the teleports. I'm not sure what the accepted convention is for a level 3. Also, I did try to make this in Gmod but it's bloody difficult.

You have no idea what I'm talking about, do you?