Wednesday, July 20, 2011

I'd buy that for a dollar

At the board meeting... (yammer yammer business business) (SMASH) (grrr) EXECUTIVE: Gasp! It's Robocop! ANOTHER EXECUTIVE: And he's brought evidence implicating Vice-President Dick Jones in the criminal conspiracy! DICK JONES: Curse you, Robocop, with your robotic crime-fighting abilities! But I'm not beaten yet! I'm taking the old man hostage! Now get me a helicopter... or else! ROBOCOP: ++ERROR: I CANNOT ACT AGAINST AN EXECUTIVE OF OMNI CONSUMER PRODUCTS++ PRESIDENT: Dick... you're FIRED!! ROBOCOP: ++GOOD THINKING, MR PRESIDENT++ ++NOW WE JUST HAVE TO WAIT OUT THE FOUR WEEK NOTICE PERIOD++Once an artist has mastered the forms of their chosen medium, he or she becomes free to subvert them by producing work that, viewed out of context, would appear objectively to fail on a technical level. It's just a shame I haven't reached that point, because it'd make it a lot easier to get away with stuff like this.

Thursday, July 07, 2011

No-one knows these things but me and him

SUIT: Mr Dennisham. I know you're not thrilled by the idea of selling. But I believe... [writing] ...we can make a very tempting offer. DENNISHAM: Two hundred and eighty thousand? SUIT: ...Yes. DENNISHAM: Why didn't you just *say* it?I want to discredit this trope. Is it really just me? Nobody does this.

Saturday, July 02, 2011

Beiherhund das oder die Flipperwaldt gersput

Kolonel Hans Landa: Legendärer Menschjäger. -Herr Standartenführer, wir haben das Zimmer gründlich gesucht. Wir können keine Juden finden! -Hmm. Habt ihr... unter den Boden gesucht?? -.....neeeiiiinnnn...? -Es... es ist doch die EINZIGE Schlupfwinkel im Haus. Wo habt ihr gesucht?? -In dem Faß, under dem Tisch, und nochmal in dem Faß. Später: -Glückwünsche, Standartenführer Landa! -Noch ein Triumph an Intelligenz und Psychologie!Seriously, how many times had they already searched that farmhouse?