Sunday, September 30, 2012

Too late?

COMEDIAN: ...it doesn't MEAN anything! Like, if she played a PROSTITUTE would that mean you got to FUCK her? No, exactly! So anyway, what is the deal with these assholes who flew those planes into the World Trade Center? AUDIENCE: BOOOOOO!! COMEDIAN: I mean, what did Oscar Wilde say... once could be a mistake, but two is just fuckin' careless, right? I mean were they really terrorists, or were they just really late for work, you know? AUDIENCE: BOO! SHUT UP! TOO SOON! COMEDIAN: 'Look, my boss is gonna kill me! There's the office, just drop me the fuck off!' AUDIENCE: GET OFF THE STAGE, ASSHOLE! BOOOO! FUCK YOU! SHUT UP! COMEDIAN: I swear, there's got to have been some office worker guy who was thinking 'Christ, I just want this day to be over'... then he looks out the WINDOW, you know, 'CHRIST! I take it back, what the FUCK!?' AUDIENCE: BOO! HAVE SOME RESPECT! WAY TOO SOON, SHITHEAD! BOOO! COMEDIAN: Yeah, this is a comedy club. I really recommend staying home if you don't have a sense of humor. AUDIENCE: OFF ! OFF! OFF! FUCK YOU! COMEDIAN: What, was your mom up there or something? Is that what pulled the planes in? AUDIENCE: MOTHERFUCKER! GET OUT! SCREW YOU! BOOOO

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