Monday, June 07, 2010

Have you ever heard of a wish sandwich?

GENIE: So, Master, you have your Double Decker bar and the washing up is done. What will be your third and final wish? JIM: Mnum. Erm... dunno. Well. I suppose I could always use an extra couple of days holiday? GENIE: Sigh. Master, with the greatest respect... only once in a thousand years does a mortal have access to my power. Try to make a decision in keeping with the import of this sacred occasion. JIM: You know, you're right. I need to step up my game right here. I need to wish for something that will *help society*. Something *useful* yet *practical*. And you know what? I think I know what it has to be. K: Jim, you look slightly different. Did you get a haircut? JIM: YES.Yeah, the punchline doesn't really make sense. Draw a better one here.
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Thursday, May 20, 2010

Development hell

PANIC STATIONS! The guy from the publishers is here! What!? But we have until November! They said! Every time, they turn up early and expect to see a finished product! And then they burden us with arbitrary changes under the pseudonym of 'creative input'! Well, it's not the same guy as last time. Maybe we should give them the benefit of the doubt for once? *sigh* Maybe... Gooood afternoon, gents! Uh, hey. So you want to take a look at the latest build? Thaaaat's right! No pressure, you understand - we just like to see how everything's going! Okay. Just skip through the intro... Sorry, what are you doing? I'm just skipping past the logos. Hmm. I'm not sure whether I like that. We, uh, we've tried to make the interface as No. I don't like it. Make the logo unskippable. Let them skip your logo if you want. Our logo cost twenty thousand pounds. They have to watch the whole thing. Every time. (SOON.) This has been useful, gents. I will be back.Why yes, I genuinely believe the splash screens are added early on in the development process. Why do you ask?
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Thursday, May 13, 2010

Inner ring road blues

'Lara Croft Way' 'Chuck Rock Way' 'Boris Verne Way'Just look it up on Google; I had to use Google to write it. This is not how comedy works.
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Sunday, May 09, 2010

Aquaman reference goes here

I go by many names. You may call me Depth Mask™. I have the power to summon great fish from the ocean's greatest depths to aid me in my battles. *WHEOWWWM* *SPLURGE* Honestly, I have to say... it just never gets old.
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Tuesday, May 04, 2010

Democracy inaction

To: Carl Watts, 137 Newmarket Road, Sandingford SF2 EXalpha. From: HM Government. Dear MR WATTS, Thank you for your recent postal ballot. We regret to inform you that on this occasion your vote has not been accepted. We thank you for your interest and look forward to hearing from you in future elections. Yours sincerely, Robert B Cowon, Returning Officer.
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