Sunday, January 28, 2007

Just like so random

Guide to Student Etiquette part #16b: Refusing a flyer. Yes, it's a tricky business on the way in and out of campus, but it can be done without causing offence. Here's how! *Earphones. Maybe I'm ignoring you, maybe I just can't hear. You don't know. Only I know. *Staring sullenly skywards. One look at this and most of them don't even bother to try. *'No thanks.' See, I'm being polite. You people are the scum of the earth and should be grateful I don't simply bludgeon you senseless with a fishing pole. *My hands are in my pockets. I couldn't take the thing even if I wanted it. Give up. *Weaving nimbly back and forth to maximise distance from vendors. Concentrate on surpressing guilt as you give Big Issue seller an especially wide berth. Congratulations, you did it! In time you will be able to 'run the gauntlet' at least twice a day with no significant loss of morale. Next time: lying to colleagues on a group project.Yeah, I'm reduced to raiding the archives again. You can tell because that's actually my old mp3 player, before it broke.

What? Oh, yes, and the date. Nice work, Sherlock.

I hope this advice comes in handy for anyone who happens to still be a student. Although I should qualify this by pointing out that I don't like students and never have. (If you are a student, don't worry. I probably meant every student except you.)

PS: Alternate last line - "Next time: How to sleep at night."

1 comment:

Buns said...

I truly despise people who stand at busy intersections or sidewalks with heavy student traffic trying to hand me their flyers. Except one time I did stop and listen to one guy chatter on and on about the importance of saving the environment because he was attractive, and I was mentally undressing him the whole time he was talking. Until he started asking me for money. Then he just became another cheap whore.