Saturday, February 24, 2007

Superhero auditions: day four

"Mid-life Crisis Man? You... that's your... I mean, this is just a mid-life crisis thing? I mean I get it, you've got the costume and everything, but I'm sorry. It's just not a good enough reason to become a superhero. And I'm sorry, but owning a sports car really doesn't count as a super power. You're really in no shape for this kind of thing. I appreciate you've made the effort, but it's just not what we're looking for."

"So... Terminal. And your superpower is... that you have a terminal illness. Right. And it says here that part of the mystery of your identity is that nobody knows exactly what illness you have? I see... so, if I understand this correctly, you're relying on the idea that even villains might draw the line at beating up a guy who's dying of cancer or whatever? With the added risk that you might be carrying something that can be transmitted through blood. Yes, that's all clear enough. I just wanted to clear something up... are you, by any chance, able to leap over a building in a single bound? Or anything like that. I just wondered."

"The Urban Spaceman. Look, the one thing you've got going for you is that it's a pretty good name. But look... I mean, did you really think you were going to get away with this? Your super power is your ability to navigate around the city? We're supposed to be impressed that you know all the alleyways and shortcuts by heart? WE ALL DO THAT. It's one of the absolute minimum requirements for getting into this business. For Christ's sake, that's like listing Interactive Menus as a DVD extra. It's just pathetic. Please get out of here before I lose my temper."

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