Jim's doodleblog: November 2006

Thursday, November 30, 2006

Monster, monster, monster!

Carve demon

Yeah, and once they got it removed from my body it turned out it could live unsupported. It likes dairy products. The doctors said it was unethical to kill it.

Velma and monster

Wednesday, November 22, 2006

Burning autumn leaves

BLOND GUY: Speaking of confessions, once I left a big scratch on another car in Brighton, and just drove off without leaving a note. I feel so guilty thinking about it!! OTHER GUY: (THINKS: I could tell them about the time <DELETED>... that'd get a laugh. ...no.) GIRL: I was supposed to look after my neighbour's OTHER GUY: (THINKS: Nobody knows. Why should anyone find out now? I'll never tell anyone, that's what I'll do. And then in sixty years or so I'll die. And the secret will be safe forever. Just as if it never happened...)

I seem to be returning to a theme. Unfortunately I am unable to articulate it properly, which is possibly the reason for my repeated hamfisted attempts.

Sunday, November 19, 2006

Happiness is just around the corner

It was the done thing to collect conkers. They were so shiny. How could you resist? In days of yore they had been used for games of skill, but now collection was for its own sake. Competition was fierce. ('These ones are mine!') But I amassed a collection that was the envy of the school. All the same, it was important to keep looking. ('There must be some left!') To come across an undiscovered cache was a fine thing! ('Aha!') But the doubt set in. All these conkers and I wasn't happy. ('85, 86, 87') What was the point? ('Stay away!') Finally, I gathered them, took them to school... and threw them off the banks into the playground. ('SCRAMBLE!') The other kids fought greedily over the spoils. ('Idiots!') It was cathartic, but I didn't feel any better afterwards.

Saturday, November 18, 2006

Don't let the grass grow

Hour 1: comedy hour! ('a *rollercoaster will pull the punters in like THAT!' Heh.) Hour 2: Not-so-good comedy. (There's a proper time for Lovejoy parodies. And it's 15 years ago.) Hour 3: sing-a-long-a-classics... (who kinda looked like Jimmy Carr/ Thy sucked out my internal organs and they took some polaroids/ and said) Hour 4: DISCO SPECTACULAR (kondo ga shitesu atsumareba/ hoshi ni naro itsoku to the sky/ darette toberu no sa/ yozura) Hour 5: TRANCE (Niemand wollte schlagerstars. Lagerstar!) (Why? When will it end?) Hour 6: requiem. (Dear Satan, I've averaged less than 25mph.)

Sorry about the godawful quality of the above, but I'm recovering from quite a long car journey. If you can figure out everything I was listening to, I'm impressed. But you still don't win anything.

After journey, attendance of gig!

The Roads: Arockalyp... uh, Rock-pocalypse

Friday, November 10, 2006

Mr Stevens (for it is he)

These are some pictures from a story I wrote a couple of years back.

Mr Stevens

They become a door

Mr Stevens & the mirror

First one today

What? No, you can't read it. This is for pictures. See, it says at the top.

Tuesday, November 07, 2006

From the vaults

I'm too indolent to draw anything at the moment, so here are a couple from my archives, previously considered too rubbish to merit publication.

Actually, Doktor Lazarus is better. Also, the squiggle is a face. Really! Squint! Squint harder! Shade in one side of it!

I'm always on the lookout for good surnames for mad scientists. But what could the squiggle be on the left?

But I thought you said you wanted to get a Popeye doll?

Erm... yes.

Saturday, November 04, 2006

Too much to do in one lifetime

Reactions lenses joke

-Um, we're putting the presentation together but we're missing the figures for the site acquisition schedule... -I don't think THEY know the answer, Sean. -Well, be fair! give them a chance.

Friday, November 03, 2006

Adventures in the imdbiverse

Although at times well-observed, the film suffers from a lack of focus - it is often unclear what exactly is being satirised. A missed opportunity. (OMFG THIS MOVIE SUCKED! WHAT WAS THE POINT?? ANYONE WHO LIKED THIS IS A RETARD!) At its heart, it is a film about being human, and as such we can all relate to it. The occasional clumsy joke aside, I would recommend it to anyone with a sense of humour. (ZOMFGZ IF THIS IS TOO COMPLEX FOR YOU GO BACK TO WATCHING 2 FAST 2 FURIOUS, OR DUDE, WHERE'S MY CAR -- YOUR FAVOURITES! ASSTARD.)

The imdb forums make me sad to be human.

Meanwhile, in a nondescript office on a business park perhaps near you:

THAT ONE GUY in 'Still kickin' it oldschool' -Something's different about you, Carol. Did you lose a load of weight? -I've had my hair done. -Oh, yeah, you're right. Silly me. You haven't lost any weight at all. -Do you like it? -It's good. Much better than what it used to look like. -Are you trying to undermine my self-esteem again? -No, really. You look okay. I'd rate you about a six. -Really? Out of how many? -I don't know. I'm not sure how many I can drink without passing out.

(Today's unifying theme is "office-style computer desks".)

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