Jim's doodleblog: March 2010

Monday, March 22, 2010

History week: epilogue

JIM: Penny for your thoughts, younger self. jim: I was wondering why the universe exists, when it would be so much easier to be nothing... JIM: Hmm. Endless void... an eternity of silence. jim: No, you don't get it. There would be *no universe*. No light. No dark. No eternity. No time. No dimensions JIM: Shut up! You can't have a... There wouldn't... You... ...oh god. ...I CAN SEE IT. Why? Why would you DO this? Hghnh! Gah! Make it stop! AIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEE

Friday, March 19, 2010

History week, week two: Bonus material

1995

Thank goodness! BATMAN!

This joke has to have been copied from somewhere, but it's gratifying to know I've always considered Batman the superhero with the most comedy potential.

Virocop

My school books were dense with the doodlings of whatever computer game I happened to be playing at the time. This is the only one I am including on account of it being freaking awesome.

Thursday, March 18, 2010

History week, week two: Virtual reality

1997(?)

(MORON Inc: building for a world with more choice. NEW! The SuperGigaVirtualVideo™ Games System.) Well, I've bought it! (Moron inc. Probably you're seeing this being carried in the street. So... buy our stuff! NB: we cannot be held responsible for ANYTHING WHATSOEVER) It'll be mainly Moron inc™ polystyrene, you mark my words! (Moron inc auto winch: be wise, be a Moron™) Oh! Hmm... (you need a cable you haven't got) Bah!

(7 hours later:) There, it's set up... ZZZ! (half an hour more later) Huh... where am I? Who am I? THE CONSOLE! (thou shalt not kill, thou shalt not steal, thou shalt not spread false rumours about Moron inc) DID A GAME COME WITH IT?? (supergigaRUINS 3D: Please note that this game was better before the conversion) Yes! Here goes! (*CLUNK-whiiiiiirrrrr ZZZZZT!* In the game:) Whoa! Wow, this is cool! (*WHOAAOUUM* 'Welcome to supergigaRUINS 3D!') WHOA! Ow, I hurt an ankle. Oo-er! (ROOAARRGH!) DIE, SCUM eh? Manual: to change into the game's characterless central character, just say the magic words. MORON™ INC IS THE HUGE, FACELESS CORPORATION FOR... (censored because of scenes of extremely nasty happenings not suitable for readers of a weedy nature) me (*FOOOOM* GAME OVER) Yiiii... LOUSY **** ******* ** *** STUPID **** ***** CABBAGE **** ******* *** *** **** MACHINE! (*BOOT* *SLAM*) Owch.

Wednesday, March 17, 2010

History week, week two: Contempt for cartoon elephants

1994

Bump

DUM (sic): I'm off to visit my local cult religion! CULTIST: HAIL THE GREAT GOD DUM! DUM: Who, me? CULTIST: Yes! It's written in the prophecies! DUM: What prophecies? CULTIST: Here! ('Buk ov profisys') Ah, here it is... Between 'The Agonians will finally discover fire' and 'An elephant will fall from the sky.' DUM: Who wrote it? CULTIST: The kid next door. *BUMP* DUM: That kid next door's pretty perceptive, isn't he? CULTIST: That's why I chose him to write it! DUM: What next? CULTIST: 'The cracked earth shall crumble.' WAAAA! DUM: What now? CULTIST: Rewrite the book of prophecies! DUM: What, like: 'You appear back up on ground level? CULTIST: Or- 'A moving stairway appears! DUM: Or... a bird brings you back up? CULTIST: I know! 'Someone lets a rope ladder down!!' DUM: No... 'You are hauled up by a big crane!' CULTIST: Or... You fall back up! DUM: Maybe it could be... All your mates arrive to help! CULTIST: Or... You become able to fly! DUM: Or...

Tuesday, March 16, 2010

History week, week two: Perilous Pete

1993(?)

Perilous Pete! WAITER: Get out! PETE: No! WAITER: Now! PETE: NO! WAITER: And stay out! PETE: That's the FIFTH time I've been thrown out of a restaurant! I mean, I don't look like a scruffy person!.. Do I? Then again- PEDESTRIAN: Poor boy - have this! PETE: I need a new image! SHOPKEEPER: Yo, MAN! Come and see my store!!! Need to find something to suit you! THAT should suit you! PETE: If you say so- Just shake off the other clothes- SHOPKEEPER: Nice, garish colours! Good job I've got sunglasses! PETE: Hi, I'm back- PATRONS: AIIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEE!!!! It's like looking at the sun!! WAIT FOR MEEE! PETE: Well, I can enjoy a meal now- 'cos there's noone to stop me! THE END: because I can't think of anything else! Oh well better fill this space up - blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah. If you read this last sentence it won't tell you anything.

Monday, March 15, 2010

History week, week two: Ancient history

1990

ugh! (trying very hard not to be violently sick!)

'A funny picture s'!

Friday, March 12, 2010

History week: Dark genesis

1999

thus

and thence

and that is how I came to have this username. Nice going, 11-years-ago me.

Thursday, March 11, 2010

History week: Wrath of the gods

1999

I-I expect you're right, maybe the rooks *do* move that way...

#I'm si-ingin' in the rain...# AAARGH! (iT cOULD hAPPEN tO yOU.

Wednesday, March 10, 2010

History week: Sectarian violence

1999

Rick O'Shea

EVANGELIST: The Lord protects the righteous! *PYOW* *PING* GUNMAN: Nooo! He won't die!!

Tuesday, March 09, 2010

History week: Dr Pepper

1997

CRUMP! Newz @t 10pm: A strange liquid is turning up all over the globe. We call it Dr Pepper... 'cos that's what it says on the can. Hazmat 1: We are here to test this substance. The future of the world rests on this moment. Hazmat 2: Heh, heh! *FOOM* Government notice: DON'T DRINK DR PEPPER. IT IS EVIL.

Monday, March 08, 2010

History week: Weather

1995

...moving east, by the minute. Swallowing towns. Whirlwinds! Monsoons! Here where our studios are... *CRUMP* *SMASH* AARGH *RUMBLE* Ooh... Yeah! Take this, all Man U supporters! HA HA! HA HA! Who will be next? Bricks! Eh? *COLLAPSE* AA

Friday, March 05, 2010

History week: introduction

JIM: Hey, younger self. What're you doing? Drawing comics? That's adorable. Let me have a look. Heh. These... these are almost as good as mine... W-well, the joke's on you! It's your own time you're wasting! You think you're better than me? I've completed Lemmings!

Shamelessly ripped off from Kate Beaton.

Monday, March 01, 2010

Endless corridors, hopeless warriors

BEING: You Have Performed Well In The Quests And Shown Valour And Courage. But The Final Test Lies Before You. To Gain The Power You Seek In Order To Save Your Village, You Must Prove Your Worth: Take Up Your Blade And Slay The Innocent On The Altar. HERO: No. I cannot kill one who has done no wrong. I have failed in my quest. BEING: Suit Yourself. It's Your Funeral. Fare You Well.

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