Thursday, March 18, 2010

History week, week two: Virtual reality

1997(?)

(MORON Inc: building for a world with more choice. NEW! The SuperGigaVirtualVideo™ Games System.) Well, I've bought it! (Moron inc. Probably you're seeing this being carried in the street. So... buy our stuff! NB: we cannot be held responsible for ANYTHING WHATSOEVER) It'll be mainly Moron inc™ polystyrene, you mark my words! (Moron inc auto winch: be wise, be a Moron™) Oh! Hmm... (you need a cable you haven't got) Bah!(7 hours later:) There, it's set up... ZZZ! (half an hour more later) Huh... where am I? Who am I? THE CONSOLE! (thou shalt not kill, thou shalt not steal, thou shalt not spread false rumours about Moron inc) DID A GAME COME WITH IT?? (supergigaRUINS 3D: Please note that this game was better before the conversion) Yes! Here goes! (*CLUNK-whiiiiiirrrrr ZZZZZT!* In the game:) Whoa! Wow, this is cool! (*WHOAAOUUM* 'Welcome to supergigaRUINS 3D!') WHOA! Ow, I hurt an ankle. Oo-er! (ROOAARRGH!) DIE, SCUM eh? Manual: to change into the game's characterless central character, just say the magic words. MORON™ INC IS THE HUGE, FACELESS CORPORATION FOR... (censored because of scenes of extremely nasty happenings not suitable for readers of a weedy nature) me (*FOOOOM* GAME OVER) Yiiii... LOUSY **** ******* ** *** STUPID **** ***** CABBAGE **** ******* *** *** **** MACHINE! (*BOOT* *SLAM*) Owch.
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