Sunday, January 30, 2011

GTA 4unnies

I am Niko, protagonist. Unlike earlier games, instead of a mindles psychotic sociopath you play a fully-rounded, 3-dimensional character with a complex backstory, consistent moral AAHAHAHAAAH! Take THIS, innocent civilians!!!
GAME: Chase this guy down and kill him! GUY: Nyah nyah! NIKO: He doesn't appear to be dying! GAME: That's right, Niko! He's been scripted so you can't kill him. That is, not until you reach this alleyway handily set out as a kind of 'battle arena'. This should make for a tense and entertaining... oh.
FRIENDS: Hi, Niko! We're a bunch of obnoxious, antisocial morons who inexplicably think we're your friends! How'd you like to go for a drink/meal/tedious minigame? NIKO: Hell, no! PHONE: *BLE-E-EP* How about now? NIKO: No! PHONE: How 'bout now? NIKO: No. PHONE: Now? NIKO: No. PHONE: Now? NIKO: No! PHONE: Now? NIKO: No!! PHONE: Now? NIKO: NO! PHONE: Now? NIKO: LEAVE ME ALONE! PHONE: ...Now??

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