Phoenix Wright for the lonely (parte finale)

Let's just move swiftly on before the mindboggling ethical pitfalls begin to sink in.

Congratulations, everybody!

I'm sure by now you're getting sick of reading utterly incomprehensible gaming comics, so today I have decided to include step-by-step hints for understanding the joke. To use them, simply highlight the text one line at a time to reveal it! It should be lots of fun. Here goes!

1) The characters are Phoenix Wright and Lotta Hart from the Ace Attorney series of games.
2) In the game it is only stated that Lotta is from "the heartland".
3) Innsmouth is a fictional town created by racist horror author H.P. Lovecraft.
4) Lovecraft is best known for his Cthulhu Mythos, featuring various extradimensional cosmic horrors.
5) In his story "The Shadow Over Innsmouth", he tells of a sinister town cult, literally descended from a race of supernatural monstrosities.
6) The hybrid denizens of Innsmouth are described as resembling a cross between a human and a fish/frog creature.
7) (In Neil Gaiman's short story "Only The End Of The World Again" he describes them as looking "a little like Peter Lorre.")
8) These creatures are descended from the Deep Ones, a race of dormant gods which will one day rise from the seabed to destroy us all.
9) The unfortunate subtext to Lovecraft's tale is of course an idealisation of racial purity, with any deviation from this depicted as inherently evil.
10) Lotta Hart looks a bit like a fish.

Phoenix Wright for the lonely (parte seconda)

Come on, you can't tell me that everyone's favourite fish-faced paparazza doesn't have a mad crush on the lawyer. What was all that running around Kurain village about, then? Or the hiding in the crate? When does Trials and Tribulations come out, anyway? I needs me my intensely linear defend-'em-up fix...

Phoenix Wright for the lonely (parte prima)

What's this? A haircut? Ha! The joke's on you: this is what I really look like! That long hair was merely a cunning deception which I cultivated by not going to a hairdressers for five years.

(Oh all right. The truth? The truth is that on September 11th 2001, I made a solemn vow. I made a vow that I would never again have my hair cut until justice had been done. And now that Saddam Hussein is dead, I am free of my compact.)