Monday, September 04, 2006

Stream of unconsciousness

Ladies and gentlemen, in order to demonstrate why I don't put stuff up on the internet very often, I invite you to spend a week inside my head. There follows a relatively unedited presentation of all the stuff I saw fit to draw on my hotel notepaper during one week on the road.

Monday, and what better way to start the week than with a godawful pun and a joke that maybe one person in the entire universe might get? NORFOLK INN: vacancies PROPRIETOR: Well, I just don't GET IT.Sharky's The Eleventh Commandment: Thou shalt not get cat.There was also a horoscope reading:

I'm getting sick of your antics. If
you don't STOP IT, I'm coming over
there to sort you out MYSELF.
for more, dial 0-500-123-STARS

is a day for controversial slogans and apocalyptic vision. You may think this T-shirt is inappropriate, but I think you can FUCK OFFSPEEDING: REALLY don't! 'I still think we should put them where his HEAD landed.'The iPredictor™ riots of 2037See, the iPredictor is this thing what can predict anything. In the future. And this causes riots. Somehow. Note how a skilled artisan can subtly create the impression of a crowd, making it look like he spent more effort than he really did? You'll admit it's uncanny.

Wednesday was a day of consumer paranoia, coupled with the shocking revelation that when nobody's watching, I really don't bother to draw hands properly.Such a poisoned chalice... I can't possibly allow my purchasing habits to be made available to the all-seeing computers. We leave patterns in everything we do. We *weave* patterns. Try as I might to buy like a normal person, some subconscious quirk in my shopping list is bound to slip through. It's a risk I can't afford to take. I have to keep a low profile. From now on I'm buying with cash.
Thursday seemed to continue this theme, in a half-hearted pastiche of The Running Man...
-I can make it! -Chico! Nooo! (Trolley deactivation perimiter) LOCK! *SCREE* *WHUMP* -AIIIIIE!
BarrisSee, if I'm going to see a film based on a book that I would one day like to have read, I like to make the effort to acquire and read that book before the film comes out. That way I can sit in the cinema going "ohh, they changed that bit!" with the other proper fans. Anyway, it's good, because that way I can picture the characters in my own way, even if as in this case they just end up looking like people I used to live next door to and couldn't stand.

Friday... oh, all right, I actually just drew this now. I did think of it that week, though.
-IT OKAY, ME HAD ENOUGH FOR NOW -You've CHANGED, Cookie Monster.Damn that cookie hypocrite.

And that's why I keep a lot of stuff to myself: because it isn't funny and doesn't even make any sense. But then, you knew that already. Good day to you!

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