Monday, August 14, 2006

Jumping the shark

The problem with any job, and I learned this during my time as a supermarket automaton, is that people are always expecting you to be perfect. The disparity between expectation and reality is forever rearing its ugly head.OLD WOMAN: Excuse me, young man. Do these tins all have the same sell-by date? MATTHEW: I don't know, do I? Why do you think I would know that? What do I look like the FONZ or something? OLD WOMAN: I... MANAGER: Some kind of PROBLEM here, Matthew? MATTHEW: This lady seems to think I'm the FONZ. MANAGER: He's not the FONZ, madam. I think you'd better come with me, madam. OLD WOMAN: I... MANAGER: I think in future it would be better if you had somebody else do your shopping for you. OLD WOMAN: oh... MANAGER: I mean, the FONZ? What were you THINKING? OLD WOMAN: but...
You're not the Fonz. You're really not. Some people can learn to deal with this, while others can't.BOSS: Matthew. This aisle is a disgrace. I want you to keep it tidier. What... what are you doing? MATTHEW: *THUD* Just checking something. Give me a moment. *THUD* Hmm... Nope, turns out I'm just an ordinary human being. You must be wanting the FONZ. BOSS: Matthew, I don't think this is... MATTHEW: FONZARELLI IN AISLE EIGHT, PLEASE! FONZARELLI TO AISLE EIGHT! WE HAVE A PROBLEM! BOSS: (nngh)

No comments: